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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.»
«GHOST, n. The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.»
«CHARITY, n. a thing that begins at home and usually stays there.»
«MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet.»
«OPPOSE, v. To assist with obstructions and objections.»
«MAIDEN, n. A young person of the unfair sex. The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though beaten out of the field by the canary -- which, also, is more portable.»
«PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. [T]he Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one -- the knowledge and the dream.»
«MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian . . . handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.»
«LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.»
«LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.»