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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.»
«ACTUALLY, adv. Perhaps; possibly.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce (Editor, Journalist, Writer) | Keywords: adv
«ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth.»
«ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.»
«ACADEME, n. An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.»
«ACCIDENT, n. An inevitable occurrence due to the action of immutable natural laws.»
«ART, n. This word has no definition. Its origin is related as follows by the ingenious Father Gassalasca Jape, S.J.One day a wag --what would the wretch be at? -- Shifted a letter of the cipher RAT, And said it was a god's name! Straight arose Fantastic priests and postulants (with shows, And mysteries, and mummeries, and hymns, And disputations dire that lamed their limbs) To serve his temple and maintain the fires, Expound the law, manipulate the wires. Amazed, the populace that rites attend, Believe whate'er they cannot comprehend, And, inly edified to learn that two Half-hairs joined so and so (as Art can do) Have sweeter values and a grace more fit Than Nature's hairs that never have been split, Bring cates and wines for sacrificial feasts, And sell their garments to support the priests.»
«ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.»
«AIR, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor.»
«ALDERMAN, n. An ingenious criminal who covers his secret thieving with a pretence of open marauding.»