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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.If I were a jolly archbishop, On Fridays I'd eat all the fish up -- Salmon and flounders and smelts; On other days everything else. --Jodo Rem»
«ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.»
«BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.Is public worship, then, a sin, That for devotions paid to Bacchus The lictors dare to run us in, And resolutely thump and whack us? --Jorace»
«BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive others.»
«ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.»
«ARRAYED, pp. Drawn up and given an orderly disposition, as a rioter hanged to a lamppost.»
«ARREST, v.t. Formally to detain one accused of unusualness.God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. --_The Unauthorized Version_»
«APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.»
«APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.»
«ALONE, adj. In bad company.In contact, lo! the flint and steel, By spark and flame, the thought reveal That he the metal, she the stone, Had cherished secretly alone. --Booley Fito»