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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«BOTTLE-NOSED, adj. Having a nose created in the image of its maker.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce (Editor, Journalist, Writer) | Keywords: nosed
«ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so is that kind of government.) Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts --guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.»
«BOUNTY, n. The liberality of one who has much, in permitting one who has nothing to get all that he can.A single swallow, it is said, devours ten millions of insects every year. The supplying of these insects I take to be a signal instance of the Creator's bounty in providing for the lives of His creatures. --Henry Ward Beecher»
«BRUTE, n. See HUSBAND.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce (Editor, Journalist, Writer) | Keywords: brute
«CAABA, n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.»
«CABBAGE, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince who on ascending the throne issued a decree appointing a High Council of Empire consisting of the members of his predecessor's Ministry and the cabbages in the royal garden. When any of his Majesty's measures of state policy miscarried conspicuously it was gravely announced that several members of the High Council had been beheaded, and his murmuring subjects were appeased.»
«CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.»
«BENEFACTOR, n. One who makes heavy purchases of ingratitude, without, however, materially affecting the price, which is still within the means of all.»
«BERENICE'S HAIR, n. A constellation (_Coma Berenices_) named in honor of one who sacrificed her hair to save her husband.Her locks an ancient lady gave Her loving husband's life to save; And men --they honored so the dame -- Upon some stars bestowed her name.But to our modern married fair, Who'd give their lords to save their hair, No stellar recognition's given. There are not stars enough in heaven. --G.J.»
«BIGAMY, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.»