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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment.»
«DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.»
«CYNIC, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.»
«DAY, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. This period is divided into two parts, the day proper and the night, or day improper --the former devoted to sins of business, the latter consecrated to the other sort. These two kinds of social activity overlap.»
«DANGER, n.A savage beast which, when it sleeps, Man girds at and despises, But takes himself away by leaps And bounds when it arises. --Ambat Delaso»
«DARING, n. One of the most conspicuous qualities of a man in security.»
«DATARY, n. A high ecclesiastic official of the Roman Catholic Church, whose important function is to brand the Pope's bulls with the words _Datum Romae_. He enjoys a princely revenue and the friendship of God.»
«DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.»
«DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.»
«DISTRESS, n. A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.»