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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.»
«ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.»
«JOSS-STICKS, n. Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion.»
«ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.»
«EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.»
«GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient.»
«When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover»
«PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.»
«WIT, n. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.»
«A medal is a small metal disk given as a reward for virtues, attainments or services more or less authentic.»