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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

«A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce (Editor, Journalist, Writer) | About: Brides | Keywords: bride, prospect
«TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect (_Glossina morsitans_) whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist (_Mendax interminabilis_).»
«EMANCIPATION, n. A bondman's change from the tyranny of another to the despotism of himself.He was a slave: at word he went and came; His iron collar cut him to the bone. Then Liberty erased his owner's name, Tightened the rivets and inscribed his own. --G.J.»
«ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.»
«ENVELOPE, n. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.»
«FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.»
«GRAMMAR, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.»
«Age: that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit»
«Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.»
«CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance --against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance. Cerberus is known to have had three heads, and some of the poets have credited him with as many as a hundred. Professor Graybill, whose clerky erudition and profound knowledge of Greek give his opinion great weight, has averaged all the estimates, and makes the number twenty-seven --a judgment that would be entirely conclusive is Professor Graybill had known (a) something about dogs, and (b) something about arithmetic.»