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Andy Rooney Quotes

«He was a Beatle in a haystack.»
«The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.»
«Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.»
«Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.»
«Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.»
«People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.»
«Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.»
«I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.»
«Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.»
«Democrats (I think to myself) are liberals who believe the people are basically good, but that they need government help to organize their lives. They believe in freedom so fervently that they think it should be compulsory. They believe that the poor and ignorant are victims of an unfair system and that their circumstances can be improved if we give them help. Republicans (I think to myself) are conservatives who think it would be best if we faced the fact that people are no damned good. They think that if we admit that we have selfish, acquisitive natures and then»

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