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Dave Attell Quotes

«Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.»
Author: Dave Attell | Keywords: dick
«What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.»
Author: Dave Attell
«You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.»
Author: Dave Attell | Keywords: on fire, situations
«Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why the attack you. Because of that man, and its up to me and a half mexican to stop him!»
Author: Dave Attell | Keywords: The Mexican
«There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.»
Author: Dave Attell