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Dave Barry Quotes

«Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.»
«European toilet paper is made from the same material that Americans use for roofing, which is why Europeans tend to remain standing throughout soccer matches.»
«Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.»
«The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.»
«In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the Grand Canyon, the Badlands, the Goodlands, the Mediocrelands, the Rocky Mountains and Robert Redford- were caused by erosion.»
«What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.»
«I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks should always be the same color,* Or they should at least both be fairly dark.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Fashion | Keywords: fairly, socks
«All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.»
«1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions of dollars to develop World Wide Web sites in a frantic scramble to reach the vast new consumer market of Web use»
«We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.»