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Jackie Mason Quotes

«I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor) | About: Money
«It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor) | About: Health, Illness | Keywords: sickness, staying
«Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant -- even if they wanted to be one?»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor)
«By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor) | Keywords: denial, examine, self-denial
«It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.»
«Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor)
«[After taking a critical hit in his first non-solo musical venture on Broadway with the short-lived Laughing Room Only, Mason noted the return to his roots.] I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, ... I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me... one Jew talking and that's it.»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor)
«We were going to do it before the hurricane, but decided to wait,»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor)
«The nervousness never lasted more than a second because he was so congenial and comfortable. He made more stars on his show, probably, than anybody in the whole history of show business.»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor)
«Frankly, I'm in shock. I just can't believe it...even though I had every reason to expect it.»
Author: Jackie Mason (Actor)