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Mark Twain Quotes

«It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead.»
«I am glad the old masters are all dead, and I only wish they had died sooner.»
«October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.»
«It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him»
«A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother»
Author: Mark Twain (Humorist, Lecturer, Writer) | About: Babies | Keywords: inestimable
«It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term.»
«New Year's Day - Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.»
«The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life. During twenty-three days in every month (in the absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also, she wants that candle / yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.»
«Prophecy: Two bull's eyes out of a possible million»
Author: Mark Twain (Humorist, Lecturer, Writer) | About: Prophecy | Keywords: bull, prophecy
«I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.»
Author: Mark Twain (Humorist, Lecturer, Writer) | About: Exercise, Sleep | Keywords: resting