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Quotations
It is sometimes difficult to be inspired when trying to write a persuasive essay, book report or thoughtful research paper. Often of times, it is hard to find words that best describe your ideas. SwiftPapers now provides a database of over 150,000 quotations and proverbs from the famous inventors, philosophers, sportsmen, artists, celebrities, business people, and authors that are aimed to enrich and strengthen your essay, term paper, book report, thesis or research paper.
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Mitch Hedberg Quotes
«I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slammed the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?»
«I wrote my friend a letter using a highlighting pen. But he could not read it, he thought I was trying to show him certain parts of a piece of paper.»
«I wrote a letter to my dad, I was going to write 'I really enjoyed being here', but I accidentally wrote 'rarely' instead of 'really'. But I wanted to use it, I didn't want to cross it out, so I wrote 'I rarely drive steamboats, Dad. There's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator.' I know this letter took a harsh turn right away.»
«I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«Say, I was on The Craig Kilbourne Show and the next day I flew to Minneapolis. I was at the airport and a guy came up. He said, 'Dude, I saw you on TV last night.' But he did not say whether or not he thought I was good, he just confirmed that I was on television. So I turned my head away from him for about a minute, then I turned it back. I said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport about a minute ago. And you were good.'»
«I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put stuff'. 'Do you know where I can store a pea?' 'Yes, I have some locations available.'»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«A guy told me he liked cherries. I waited to see if he was going to say 'tomato' before I realized he liked cherries, just.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«Where are all the 'during' photos? I've never seen one.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
«You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
