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Phyllis Diller Quotes

«No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they?re early, so naturally you?re not ready.»
«Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn?t do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight.»
«I remember that I fainted.»
«If that's the best joke in the world, then I've never had a face-lift.»
«It's a certain kind of immortality, because those Disney films do go on and on and on.»
«He was in the air most of the time ... on the air, in the air, one way or the other. It was his thing and this was his airport.»
«He was very much at home in the TV studio or on stage live anywhere; that is where he really lived. And, you know what, it was never a chore for him. It was never nerve-racking. He was always so completely prepared by his tremendous organization that he had put together,»
«I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?»
Author: Phyllis Diller | Keywords: a couple of, fang
«You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone.»

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