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Terry Pratchett Quotes

«There's a door.Where does it go?It stays where it is, I think.»
«Through the fathomless deeps of space swims the star turtle Great A?Tuin, bearing on it?s back the four giant elephants who carry on their shoulders the mass of the Discworld. A tiny sun and moon spin around, on a complicated orbit to induce seasons, so this is probably the only place in the Multiverse where it is sometimes necessary for an elephant to move a leg to allow the sun to go past. Exactly why it is this way, may never be known.Possibly the Creator of the universe got bored with all the usual business of axial inclination, albedos and rational velocities, and decided to have bit of fun.»
«Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.»
«But ye gotta know where ye're just going to rush in. Ye canne just rush in anywhere. It looks bad, havin' to rush oout again straight awa'.»
«The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly.»
«On this day 1802, the painter Methodia Rascal woke up in the night because the sounds of warfare weere coming from a drawer in his bedside table.Again.»
«In some parts of the city, curiosity didn't just kill the cat, it threw it in the river with lead weights tied to its feet.»
«What do you call those things you find at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful Gangsters?»
«Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.»
«'If you're going to suggest I try dropping twenty feet down a pitch dark tower in the hope of hitting a couple of greasy little steps which might not even still be there, you can forget it,' said Rincewind sharply. 'There is an alternative, then.''Out with it, man.''You could drop five hundred feet down a pitch black tower and hit stones which certainly are there,' said Twoflower. Dead silence from below him. Then Rincewind said, accusingly, 'That was sarcasm.'»

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