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Adam the

«It all goes back, of course, to Adam and Eve -a story which shows among other things, that if you make a woman out of a man, you are bound to get into trouble»
«If you're a creationist, you can look at it this way: When Eve offered Adam the apple, he stood up to accept it.»
«Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.»
«Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts»
«Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him»
«[Before opening an envelope for best supporting actress] I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, `Back up, I don't know how big this gets.»
«Centuries ago, sailors on long voyages used to leave a pair of pigs on every deserted island. Or they'd leave a pair of goats. Either way, on any future visit, the island would be a source of meat. These islands, they were pristine. These were home to breeds of birds with no natural predators. Breeds of birds that lived nowhere else on earth. The plants there, without enemies they evolved without thorns or poisons. Without predators and enemies, these islands, they were paradise. The sailors, the next time they visited these islands, the only things still there would be herds of goats or pigs. .... Does this remind you of anything? Maybe the ol' Adam and Eve story? .... You ever wonder when God's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?»
«Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.»
«Adam was but human-this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.»
«Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was, that they escaped teething»