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backstage

«People thought this would be an award show -- but we couldn't get anybody to open up the envelopes. I've been backstage at a lot of rock concerts, and I've never seen musicians run away from white powder before!»
«The first time that I appeared on stage, it scared me to death. I really didn't know what all the yelling was about. I didn't realize that my body was moving. It's a natural thing to me. So to the manager backstage I said 'What'd I do? What'd I do?'»
«It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it: The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.»
«Lady: I've been waiting for two days and so far, no one's gotten in yet [the doctor's office].Samantha: I was once told I wouldnt' be able to get backstage to see Mick Jagger. Well I did get backstage...and I blew him. [Silence] Excuse me... I don't know if this is an appropriate question to ask...Lady: I think we passed appropriate a few seconds ago. Samantha: What kind of cancer do you have?Lady: Breast. Samantha: Breast! Me too. I'm curious...Do you have children?Lady: I'm a nun. Samantha: You have none. Lady: No, no, no...I AM a nun. But that doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy your Mick Jagger story. Samantha: I thought that nuns had to wear...Lady: Oh, I haven't worn a habbit in years. Samantha: So then...you don't have sex? Lady: No. Samantha: Never had sex?Lady: No. Samantha: Ohh. [thoughtful silence] Just one more. Lady: Go right ahead. Samantha: Are you allowed to masturbate?Lady: [thinking] I never asked. But thanks for getting my mind off cancer for the first time in a week. Samantha: Happy to help.»